It had been my intention to blog on each week in turn - but being a new mum got in the way of that. I can honestly say I've marveled at every change over the last three months - becoming a mum for the first time has made me question why I didn't do it sooner. But I realise, now was absolutely the best time for us. We're not rich, but we're happy and in love and I hope our little one realises that. I think he does, he certainly seems content.
It was challenging at first. Breastfeeding took a while to establish - I kept moving myself to him rather than bringing him to me, which was starting to severely hurt my back. But I kept at it, found good positions (for me and the many pillows I employ for this purpose) and eventually it got easier. I used the rugby ball position at first, but as he's grown, lying across me works best. We can now manage 5 hours between feeds at night, but I still wake up regularly if I hear him rooting for his dummy - giving it to him quick sharp always soothes him back to a deep sleep. In the beginning he woke to feed every one to two hours which was exhausting, but I learnt how to feed lying down and that helped me to relax a bit.
Our first trips out were always with the help of friends and family, but now I'm confident to go out with him on my own.
The hardest thing was feeling I should be doing things around the house - cleaning, cooking and the like but some days I forgot to eat and drink, or rather, couldn't leave the sofa as I had thought the little one would hate it if I left him alone and I couldn't bear to hear him cry for more than a couple of minutes. I bored myself silly with daytime TV until I realised -this time wouldn't last forever - so I might as well enjoy it and watch DVDs I'd been meaning to. Taking a couple of minutes to prepare the DVD player the night before helped. I knew I'd be glued to the sofa feeding and comforting the little one all day (especially during cluster feeds), so I might as well entertain myself with things on my 'yet to see' list.
Over time (by about week 8) I managed to place him in the crib downstairs long enough to make a cup of tea or do the washing up. It felt incredibly liberating but also lonely at the same time - but soon enough he'd cry for me to pick him up again and I must confess it felt good to be needed. However, quickly (we're now on week 14) he got used to being put down, either in the crib, in a triangular (L-shaped) pillow or in the old-fashioned sling chair that my husband used to be in when he was a baby, and now I can spend decent stretches of time having a tidy up, cooking, or organising the paper work (been meaning to do that for years) - always singing to him, making sure he's ok, chatting with him, or making sure he's comfortable when sleeping of course. He's a happy and contented baby so I figure I must be doing something right.
We have a good routine - sleep, feed, change, play, sleep and it works really well. He has time lying on a blanket on the floor so he can kick about. He also has tummy time and I swear he's pushing himself around just through sheer will. He can hold his head up off the floor for long stretches and he adores it when I sing to him and he'll sing along with me - especially when there's a 'woaaahh woaaahhh' in the chorus. The first time he realised he could sing in tune was a cracker and yesterday he surprised himself by actually laughing. He was so shocked he hasn't done it since! But I know it's only a matter of time.
I'm fitting a lot into one blog, but I'll try to specify new things that happen each week now that I may actually have time to write, considering I'm not needed to be constantly at his side, but I'm never far away. I physically couldn't have managed this sooner - it's been exhausting but so wonderful. But I'm determined to get my life in order before I go back to work, so when I'm back and my home time is limited, I'll have established bullet-proof routines so I can have maximum quality time with my little boy. I'm not looking forward to being away from him, but needs must. At least I have a few months left to get things in order, so I'll document his growth, and my progress on organisation and de-cluttering here, to achieve as much of a stress-free home life as possible.
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